Holi and the sacred "mann"

It is holi today, and I am reminded of an old tradition that is somehow lost in the past now. I still relish it though and would love to revive it. This post is an attempt in that direction.

When my grandmother (Biji) was relatively young, she used to prepare what she called "mann". It is a sweet bread made on the ocassion of choti holi.

Before I go any further, I think that it is pertinent for me to explain the concept of choti holi. Long back, there was a king called Hiranyakashyapa. Hiranyakashyapa was very powerful and wanted everyone to consider him as God and pray to him in place of God. However, his son Prahalad, refused to call him God and prayed to Shri Vishnu. This annoyed him to such extent that he decided to get him killed. Prahalad survived all attempts. Hiranyakashyapa had a sister named Holika. She had a special kind of apparel which was charmed such that when she wears it then she will not get burnt but whoever else wears it, he/she will catch fire. In a frustrated moment, Hiranyakashyapa asked his sister to wear the clothes, take Prahalad with her and enter into fire. However, Prahalad continually prayed to God and survived the fire. However Holika caught fire (even in the charmed apparel) and died.

Coming back to manns :-). They represent the Prahalad that survives the fire. Sweet dough is made by using flour and jaggery. Then some of it is taken into hand and flattened into circular shape, about 5-6 inches in diameter and about 1cm thick. It is tied with thread - kind of allegory to the charmed clothes of Holika. The same thread is also put around cakes of cow-dung (uppalas). A pyre of wood is set. The cow-dung cakes and flattened dough cakes are tied around the pyre and it is alighted. Interestingly, this is done during the day at the place of a Panditaini (wife of pandit).

The cow-dung cakes burn away (representing Holika that got burnt), but the flattened dough gets baked and survives the fire. This baked bread is called mann. They are eaten as prasad of God and to imbibe the immense faith and trust in God that Prahalad exhibited even at trying times when his own father wanted to kill him.

I miss the manns these days... My mother works - and therefore never had time to make these cakes with Biji. And we also moved to Delhi, where this culture is almost non-existent. So, I kind-of miss the "real" festival. :-)...

However my aunty (chachi) makes them even now, though in a toned down version of the ceremony. Almost no one goes to Panditaini's place now. She makes them at home on a flat pan. So, there are no cow-dung cakes to represent Holika, nor are there the threads to represent the charmed clothes. What continues to exist is Prahalad - and the continued blessings of God. But the story of immense faith in God - the fact that God will always protect his devotees - is kind-of lost in this abridged version of Holi.

The rainy night and the little one

For the past few days, I would regularly hear some cries at night while working on my desktop. I had seen a cat carrying a small kitten a few days back. I assumed that this would be that kitten, wailing for its mother while the cat went looking for food.

In the meanwhile, one of our regular canine visitors had been pregnant for some time. Three days back, she came without the pregnancy. I wondered where her puppies were. No clues. She took her regular glass of milk, rested for some time in the verandah and then left.

We later noticed that there was some blood in the place where she had rest. I was slightly worried, but hoped that the delivery had been normal.

It was raining last night. I was working at my desk. The same cries came persistently. Papa-mummy had already gone to sleep. I was restless, and decided to check-out where the little kitten was.

By the time I went out of the house, the cries had subsided. I looked for some little creature here and there - with no clues which side the cries had come from. At once the wailing started again. I was surprised to see a little puppy, all drenched, trying to find a place to be warm.

I picked him up instantly. It was shivering with cold - not even able to breathe properly. However, as I held him for a little longer, he got some body-heat from me and also his skin dried up when it got in touch with my shirt. It stopped crying. I felt a little bit at ease. At least I was comforting him more than causing dis-comfort by my "possibly" in-adept handling of what I thought to be a two / three day old puppy.

It was continuously raining, and possibly that was the reason that mother was not able to come for him. But where were his siblings. No clues. He had possibly strayed away from the litter either in search of food or his mother while others were sleeping. I searched for the mother and the remaining litter. It was raining, so I had to also protect the little one from rain. I searched for a little while, but to no avail.

I had to take a decision quickly. He was shivering and I was getting more and more worried for him. I checked another corner in our society of apartments and then decided to bring him home, dry him and then leave him on a jute sac under a shed somewhere.

Everyone at home was already asleep. I did not want to wake others up. The sac was nowhere in sight. Moreover, he was shivering incessently. I dried him with a cloth and then decided to keep him inside - instead of putting him on/in a sac outside. But where?

I couldn't take him to bed. He was not clean. So, I placed him on a plastic mat on a carpet. He continued to shiver. I couldn't leave him alone like this. I felt uncomfortable even to go and warm up some milk for him while he was still shivering. So, I lay down with him to give him some warmth. He was used to sleeping with his litter, head above someone else's body. He needed a similar pillow, and found one in my arm. OK. So, he was now lying cuddled with his head on my arm, as if we were long last buddies. As he got some warmth, he dozed off.

I lightly picked up his head and placed it on his fore-legs and went to the kitchen to get some milk and heat it. Luckily there was some warm milk already. I brought the normal dog-pan from outside and poured some milk for the little one. I just needed to touch him, and the smell of milk acted like lightening. He sprung up and lapped away all of it. I was surprised. He was hungry. The warm milk must do him some good I hoped.

Anyways, now having got some warmth, he was hyper-active. He started moving around. I got worried. What if he pisses? Oh my God!!! It was a new carpet.

The saving grace was that I had the plastic cover on the carpet. Though I had initially placed it so that the wet puppy doesn't spoil the carpet, now it would give much more protection. But then he had to be restrained in the stipulated area somehow - not just now, through the night. I had no strings to tie him. So, I had to be with him in the living room - and can not go and sleep in the bedroom - at least till the time he is awake. This is not going to be as simple as I assumed.

More surprises were still to come.

I somehow managed to help him sleep again. To do this, I had to again cuddle with him and hold him tight so that he did not run away. All the while, ensuring that it doesn't hurt. He slept. I gradually extricated myself and slept on the sofa. There was no way I could go and sleep in my bed even now. My clothes were all soiled with his paw-prints and sleeping on the bed would have been disastrous. On a sofa, since the space is already limited, you can ensure that the bad side (front in this case) doesn't touch the sofa covers. And I did not want to work hard to change my clothes at that hour. It was already half past midnight - much later than my hibernation time of about 10:00-10:30pm...

Well, good that I did not go to the bedroom. For, in less than say 30 minutes I heard something. I looked down and our champion was checking out the carpet. I pulled him back on the plastic sheet. And I realized that he may want to pee... So, I had to quickly pick him up and take him outside. I am not sure if I was so correct in my assumption, or if it was due to the cold winds outside, the hero peed within a minute of being taken out. Whatever, I was saved. But I realized that this way, I can't sleep through the night. He may want to pee again in the night.

Anyways, I brought him back to the room and patted him so that he would go to sleep. But just like earlier, he was all active. I was all sleepy. At once I felt some nibbling at my fingers. And, he had teeth... Do dogs have teeth when they are born? I was surprised. Anyways, he nibbled one finger, then another and then the third. He was probably assumming my fingers to be milk-secreting glands of his mummy. So, he was hungry. And that meant another trip to the kitchen to help him sleep. But that also meant the danger of another such episode - it wanting to pee again.

I had to sleep. So, he had to have his drink. No two ways about it. I must have slept for about an hour when I heard howling dogs outside. I was pretty sure that it was the lady dog whose child was with me. So, I woke him up, lifted him and took him outside. As soon as she saw me, she came running to me. She always does that. I was feeling good that I saved her son and that she would now take him to her litter. However, as soon as I shoved the puppy to her she growled. It was not hers. Oh oh!!! So, this one was not just 2-3 days old. He was older. He was the one who used to cry on previous nights also. But where was the mother? How could she leave her son like this?

Now since she was not his mother, there was no point in risking his life in the cold with no one else to take care of him. I brought him back in. But as with little children, he was all active again.

This time I did not give him my fingers. I did not even give him milk. He looked like asking for food out of habit. Its hardly been any time that he had milk earlier. But this time he also was more consolable and on patting went to sleep. Thank God.

Then again, some movement. But this time he was running to other corner of the room. It must be something else. The only thing I could think of was, to take him outside again. Thank God that I did that. He walked around in the verandah for a little while and then found a corner and relieved himself - the morning bowel movement. Now he would surely ask for more milk - or chew my hand away. How I was waiting for the morning !!! Then I would possibly have some help.

Anyways, I brought him back in and got him some milk. Next thing - patting - and he did go to sleep relatively easily. He was getting used to the new way of life it seems.

But it was all illusory. He had the urge again. I was getting to understand the plight of parents when the children are young. They need food every 2 hours. They need changing diapers almost equally frequently. Raising children is not easy. I was kind of giving up on the first night itself :-)

So, another round of activity. Keeping awake and playing with him and all the while trying to help him go to sleep. This wasn't easy - especially when I was already exhausted from the very hectic week (it was Friday-saturday night/morning) and badly wanted to sleep. He finally succumbed to my systematic patting every opportunity I got - so as to make him sleep.

A little while later, I heard movement again. I dreaded the worst. But it seems he had just woken up and was turning around his head to see what place he was in. He felt alone and at once started to cry. I had to be quick to pat him on his back. Comforted, he put his head down again. I really thanked him for cooperating. This happened again. Possibly, he was now getting used to not disturbing me unless it was an emergency and not to run around the place unnecessarily - which he was doing earlier.

I looked at the watch, it was 7'o clock. There must be enough light outside for him to find his way. Also, I definitely need to take care of my morning rituals. So, he couldn't be alone in the living room, on the new carpet - esp. after I had seen him needing to relieve himself multiple times in just a few hours. I had to place him out of the house for him to find his mother and reunite with the family.

Papa mummy were still sleeping. I quickly washed away the remanents of his last night escapades outside the house. He wanted to come back. I closed the door. He started crying. But I had to be hard this time. There was enough light outside, it was not raining any longer. He had to find his way to his family. So, I did not reopen the door.

I came back to check for him about 5 minutes later. He was nowhere to be seen.

I call this "atithi-devo-bhava" - a sudden visitor should be treated like God. I tried my level best to do that. What if he came in the body of a puppy.

Whatever I may say now, I think I am missing him already. He was kind-of cute; just a little larger than my palms and he had learnt to not to be naughty when I was sleeping.

But we can't keep a pet. At times there is no one home for 8-10 hours at a stretch. We can't just leave him without any care. He is too young and doing that would be injustice. May God bless him.

Speaking about me, I will just try to get some sleep :-)...

God ji thinks it through

I mentioned in my earlier post that I was led into buying the yogavatar Krishan ji from Dilli Haat.

On my way back home, I was constantly thinking about how and where to place him such that I cherish having got him.

I thought of having him in our in-house temple. But knowing that I rarely spend more than 5 minutes there, I did not feel very comfortable doing that.

I thought of giving it to my favorite teacher - but meeting her was a invisible time away. We talk often, but meeting is a different ball-game.

Then I thought of taking him to my office and setting him up on my desk. That too sounded a bit difficult because my desk is already full of lots of trinklets and I already have a very beautiful statue of Krishan ji on a pen-stand I took from Parichay (check out http://delhi.aidindia.org).

However, it still looked like the best option. I decided that I will take him to office and have him there. This was to be done next morning.

When I reached home, papa told me that I should take a leave next morning to go with him and get a new car - Wagon R. So, Krishan ji remained packed in my bag.

When we were at the car show-room, I noticed that Wagon R has a specific place in the front for setting up some temple or perfume bottle etc. Papa also talked about choosing from the available range of temples in the showroom.

All the events from yesterday evening fell into place instantaneously. I realized that the yogavtar ji was meant for this place in our new car. That was why he was not fitting anywhere. But my purchasing it was also destined. So, that is it.

Now, he is sitting in front of the driver's seat of the car and telling me that he is always with me - even when I am riding the car :-). And let me tell you, the colors just gel with the colors of the car and he looks exquisite. After all, God ji thinks things through much before we even comprehend why they are happening :-) Thank you Bhagwan ji.